Music! Jane Austen is My Homegirl (Downton Abbey Rap) - Pretty Darn Funny

I don't know if we can label this as music, which it is or total lol!
No sé si podemos etiquetar esto como musica, que lo es, o una ¡desparrame total!

From a new web series / De una nueva serie web

LYRICS:

GRACIE

I'm Miss Gracie, honey,

and I always bring the funny.

I'm so into Jane Austin,

my kids call me "Mummy".

I'll watch BBC

till my hubby gets crabby.

I really know what's up

in Downton Abbey.

MADISON

I've got flowy lush hair

all over the place,

and these hips were made

for an empire waist.

I look good in velvet, satin, and lace,

disgrace the Brontes...

you'd better watch yo face.

RYANNE

Hey you, yeah you,

Matthew Crawley,

you blue-eyed blondie,

Manchester hottie,

you're the new-age,

fair-haired Mister Darcy.

If I were your fair cousin Mary,

I'd be like, "solicitor, I'd like a kissitor,

I'll be your lifetime visitor, prisoner of love.

I'll give all my suitors a shove, if you give me a buzz, cuz.

Just don't play hard to get, cuz."

MADISON

Rollin' down the lane,

in my carriage, sippin'

on currant juice.

Laid back,

with my mind on my suitors

and my suitors on my mind.

CHORUS

Hey, ho,

It's pretty darn funny yo,

that if we lived in a time

that our favorite shows is,

we'd probably have died from tuberculosis.

Hey, ho,

it's pretty darn funny yo,

that if we lived in a time

that our favorite shows is,

we'd probably have died young,

Y'all gotta love the--

SHIRLEEN

--Dowager Countess!

You can't count this!

The number of times

she puts her foot in her mouth is:

incredible.

Bluntness: unforgettable.

Rudeness: regrettable.

Yes. Maggie Smith is my hero

and this is my anthem,

can't stand it,

have words with Lord Grantham,

Grantham, Grantham, Grantham...

You's about to hafta finda

different mansion.

JENNIFER

Once I turned down a date

and stayed up till dawn

to watch the North and South marathon.

My friends say I'm crazy,

but, for what it's worth,

I'll just never love a man

as much as Collin Firth.

GRACIE

My dowry brings

all the boys to the yard,

and they like, start quoting the Bard,

they try to woo me

but, I have to charge...

In pounds, probably

CHORUS

Hey, ho,

it's pretty darn funny, yo,

that our favorite heroines

who have so much gumption,

most likely would have died of consumption.

Hey, ho,

it's pretty darn funny, yo,

that us ladies

would rather lose our hair

than miss watchin' a show

about class warfare.

NORA

I just read the proper romance, Edenbrooke,

nows I gotsa practice my smoldering looks.

My friend loves Phillip but,

I'll have to show her,

no man stills my heart

like Horatio Hornblower.

I doth love the menfolk who talk like Keats,

Yo Gordy, esquire, throw me some beats.

GORDY

Darcy, Crawley, Willoughby--

those fools ain't got nothing, see.

I've got the skills that makes the ladies faint in front of me,

I got Sense AND Sensibility.

And what about Northhanger Abbey?

I got the whole collection on DVD!

RYANNE

I'd push my broom back and forth,

I'd push my broom back and forth,

if I could clean that cutie Mr. Bingley's room, well, of course.

CHORUS

Hey, ho,

it's pretty darn funny, yo,

that we'd have taken our chances

of gettin' cholera

to get a date with a British suitor, holler y'all!

Hey, ho,

It's pretty darn funny yo,

that if we lived in a time

that our favorite shows is,

we'd probably have died from tuberculosis.

Hey, ho,

it's pretty darn funny, yo

that we'd have taken our chances

with dysentery

if it meant we could be

properly married.